City bad, house good

I think I emailed this to a couple of people, but it is worth posting:

The Worst-Run Big City In The U.S.

No, not Oakland -- we're not that big.

By the way, I'm closing on my house Monday, and hoping to move the week after Christmas. I have my apartment through January, but I've lined up the new tenants and may strike a deal with them to recoup some of that rent. I might target early-March for a housewarming party, but I'll give some of you lazy asses (hint hint, AD) plenty of notice, and should have room for any who want to stay with me.

DOES ANYONE NEED A GOOGLE WAVE INVITE?

I begots a grip.

Why yes, I would like to double-down on an eight

Cue the "aggressive gamblers do better" story next, because Mr. Watanabe would like to have a word with you.

Here's the lede:

LAS VEGAS -- During a year-long gambling binge at the Caesars Palace and Rio casinos in 2007, Terrance Watanabe managed to lose nearly $127 million.

The run is believed to be one of the biggest losing streaks by an individual in Las Vegas history. It devoured much of Mr. Watanabe's personal fortune, he says, which he built up over more than two decades running his family's party-favor import business in Omaha, Neb. It also benefitted the two casinos' parent company, Harrah's Entertainment Inc., which derived about 5.6% of its Las Vegas gambling revenue from Mr. Watanabe that year.

That's a pretty impressive amount of losing when you can claim your own slice of the Harrah's revenue pie chart. "And here we see our 4th quarter projections, with catering, gift shop, concerts, and oh yes, Mr. Watanabe will be in town for Thanksgiving."

Don't Get Me Startled

It seems to me that people who surprise or startle (or even tickle in some cases) others are exercising a form of domination that says more about them than any subsequent response. Even good surprises involve withholding information in order to gain power over another -- ostensibly for their benefit, but in truth for one's own. Because every 5-year-old recognizes that it's fun to know something that someone else doesn't, and even even more fun to spring it on them unawares and then indulgently revel in their reaction.

I do however distinguish frightening from startling. Frightening usually means to fill someone with dread or terror, due to the menacing or sinister nature of a thing. Startling is just a base, physical reaction to something unexpected. Frightening takes an understanding of human nature and perception expectations; startling is just jumping out at someone from around a corner. Bad horror movies startle, good ones frighten. I don't think most people make this distinction, and in an attempt to frighten someone just startle them instead.

Combining the two can be very effective -- like that classic internet video that is supposed to be a hard-to-see ghost, but ends up flashing a scary picture of a witch(?) with a loud screeching sound accompaniment. The startle reflex enhances the fight-or-flight reflex for some people; there is no end to YouTube videos of people reacting to it by losing their shit. I found it mostly startling and thus annoying, but I can at least see the point. (By the way, what the hell is up with people who show that to their young children and film their reactions? Doing that to a 7-year-old is borderline child abuse.)

Anyway, long story long, my favorite comeuppance video for the startle crowd was on AHV a long time ago, and I think about this every Halloween:



Then, I saw this one on Failblog recently and realized I may have a new favorite:



Too bad you can't see the aftermath on the second, because as much as the guy in the first one is rolling around hurt, he pulled his punch a bit while that second one landed right on the button. Sweet, delicious, just desserts.

Agrippa, please

Iowahawk just kills it with advice for Obama from Julius Caesar:

Yo Obamacus, Rome up your shit! If you knew the first thing about handlin' your shit SPQR-style, you'd be turning Capitol Hill into Crucifixion Hill. Glennus Beckus? Boom! Up on the cross, bitch. Rushus Limbavus? Boom! You been served. Shit, send the survivors a bill for the nails.

Strange Brew

Whenever I get angry at the interwebs, they go and produce something like this. Aw baby, I could never stay mad at you!



I've often thought I'd like to run a liquor store for a week, just to see what it's like (ditto for a fast food joint). But then again I'd rather not get shot.

C.R.E.A.M

The Fed’s balance sheet is $2,174,000,000,000.

What would I do if I was president? I'm glad you asked:

If I was president (what would you do? )
I would not carry, oh no spare change
I would just rearrange, the whole government structure
Cause there seems to be something that's
Messing with the flucture of the money (what? )
It's not coming to me

What would Method Man say, I'm glad you asked:

Cash Rules Everything Around Me
C.R.E.A.M.
get the money
Dolla dolla bill y'aauhhhaaaauhhhhahhhauhhhhll, YEAH