Don't Get Me Startled

It seems to me that people who surprise or startle (or even tickle in some cases) others are exercising a form of domination that says more about them than any subsequent response. Even good surprises involve withholding information in order to gain power over another -- ostensibly for their benefit, but in truth for one's own. Because every 5-year-old recognizes that it's fun to know something that someone else doesn't, and even even more fun to spring it on them unawares and then indulgently revel in their reaction.

I do however distinguish frightening from startling. Frightening usually means to fill someone with dread or terror, due to the menacing or sinister nature of a thing. Startling is just a base, physical reaction to something unexpected. Frightening takes an understanding of human nature and perception expectations; startling is just jumping out at someone from around a corner. Bad horror movies startle, good ones frighten. I don't think most people make this distinction, and in an attempt to frighten someone just startle them instead.

Combining the two can be very effective -- like that classic internet video that is supposed to be a hard-to-see ghost, but ends up flashing a scary picture of a witch(?) with a loud screeching sound accompaniment. The startle reflex enhances the fight-or-flight reflex for some people; there is no end to YouTube videos of people reacting to it by losing their shit. I found it mostly startling and thus annoying, but I can at least see the point. (By the way, what the hell is up with people who show that to their young children and film their reactions? Doing that to a 7-year-old is borderline child abuse.)

Anyway, long story long, my favorite comeuppance video for the startle crowd was on AHV a long time ago, and I think about this every Halloween:



Then, I saw this one on Failblog recently and realized I may have a new favorite:



Too bad you can't see the aftermath on the second, because as much as the guy in the first one is rolling around hurt, he pulled his punch a bit while that second one landed right on the button. Sweet, delicious, just desserts.

Agrippa, please

Iowahawk just kills it with advice for Obama from Julius Caesar:

Yo Obamacus, Rome up your shit! If you knew the first thing about handlin' your shit SPQR-style, you'd be turning Capitol Hill into Crucifixion Hill. Glennus Beckus? Boom! Up on the cross, bitch. Rushus Limbavus? Boom! You been served. Shit, send the survivors a bill for the nails.

Strange Brew

Whenever I get angry at the interwebs, they go and produce something like this. Aw baby, I could never stay mad at you!



I've often thought I'd like to run a liquor store for a week, just to see what it's like (ditto for a fast food joint). But then again I'd rather not get shot.

C.R.E.A.M

The Fed’s balance sheet is $2,174,000,000,000.

What would I do if I was president? I'm glad you asked:

If I was president (what would you do? )
I would not carry, oh no spare change
I would just rearrange, the whole government structure
Cause there seems to be something that's
Messing with the flucture of the money (what? )
It's not coming to me

What would Method Man say, I'm glad you asked:

Cash Rules Everything Around Me
C.R.E.A.M.
get the money
Dolla dolla bill y'aauhhhaaaauhhhhahhhauhhhhll, YEAH

the train HAS come

Yeeeahhhh, boy:

Move over Juraj Jánošík, Slovakia has a new hero. His name is Seweryn Gancarczyk, and although he is Polish by birth, tonight he is the toast of the neighbours to the south after his own goal in the third minute of Slovakia's final qualifying game for World Cup 2010 decided this match - and this long campaign - in Slovakia's favour.

Juraj Jánošík was a kind of Slovak Robin Hood. In contrast, the Czech national hero, vojáka Švejka, was known for disappearing anytime violence was a-brewin. The Czech national pastime is defenestrating unarmed civilians. Just saying...

I Can Feel Birds Everywhere Crapping On Me As We Speak

I picked up a San Francisco Chronicle yesterday for the first time in months, because a guy I play hoops with wrote an article on "pickup basketball fashion" with a pic of another guy we play with, DT. I got a good laugh that DT was featured not only on the Style front, but also in a teaser above the fold on A1.

When the did they photo shoot of DT before our Saturday morning game, Peter (the writer) asked several us to take photos as well. Turns out it was a slow style news day, and yours truly was printed in an 8" color photo on the back page of the section, and called a "brand loyalist" for rocking the full Adidas look. Maybe Adidas will send me some free shoes.

Uncle Sam Pimp Slapped Me.

Method Man sez: "The IRS said: if you don't come see me, I'll comes see you".

Method Man made me proud, he takes all responsibility and accountability on himself, doesn't blame his CPA, the Man, and specifically exonerates the weed. That's a refreshing antidote to Charlie Rangel, Chairman of Ways & Means (which write the Tax Law) who has a 1000 excuses for doing much worse.